Artist: Jaclyn Nobrega
Year: 2014
Medium: Mixed Media and Poem
Artist Statement:
Poem: Ritalin as a psychological rapist
Spinning head, bouncing off the walls.
Blissfully pacing; back and fourth.
Indecision paralyzes progress.
Distracted by thrill of endless options.
The day is done, the darkness has come.
And still, pages remains untouched.
Vilified by teachers, and peers.
My soul is rejected, there are no longer cheers.
Labelled. Disabled.
“Crazy,” “On crack.”
Punishment. Exclusion. Alienated. Attacked.
The recurrence of untouched dreams, leads to a place where a psychiatrist deems.
The chemical arrives–it leaks to my brain
I hear sounds, I can hear my thoughts.
Pages are filled. Grades increase.
A once bubbling soul, and flourishing spirit no longer has any place to go.
My soul is moving. But my body is stuck.
My leg wants to shake, but I am now stuck in my thoughts.
I pay attention. But, can no longer speak.
My soul diminishes, among the dosage increase.
My emotions are sucked out.
Numbness appears.
My focus turns to darkness
I live in fear.
The voices outside hinder my thoughts.
A constant fear, an anxiety of freedom.
Repetition.
I am trapped in my thoughts.
Unable to run, unable to scream.
I cannot cry. I cannot sing.
I can complete, and stay on task.
But my soul has vanished.
I am unable to laugh.
A sadness remains,
It lingers inside.
Long after I have come down, off this unwelcomed high.